When fires of
sunset in
heaven are
burning,
When over the
hills the wind
of the dawn,
Then voices
ancestral
within you are
calling
Still knows the
wildwood the
dance of the
faun."
-From "The
Road" by
Doreen Valiente
sunset in
heaven are
burning,
When over the
hills the wind
of the dawn,
Then voices
ancestral
within you are
calling
Still knows the
wildwood the
dance of the
faun."
-From "The
Road" by
Doreen Valiente
Demyth-afing the Wiccan Coven
Recently I moved through my 3rd degree
initiation in Chalice Well Coven and
formally hived to start a new daughter
Coven: Ravens Well. As I have moved almost
100 miles away from Covenstead, I am
starting completely from scratch. It has been
interesting communicating with people about
what it is they are looking for in a Coven
and why they feel they want to be a part of a
Coven. What I have found is that most often
people have a kind of “Disney” version of
what a Coven is and how it works. All
chants, candles and pretty vessels spread out
on a perfectly draped altar with happy,
unified members circled around in a
darkened (but not too dark) space. Of course
the ritual takes place outdoors on a warm
night in a beautiful garden gazebo on
enough land so that the neighbors can’t peek
over the fence to watch. Wow! Sounds great!
Who needs to start a Coven? I want to join
this one! Where do I go to sign up?
I realized that while there are many books out
there on how to work magick within a group
setting, how to set up and run a magickal
group and even how to handle conflict within
a Coven setting , there are not many that
deal with the day to day reality of working
in a Coven. Perhaps this is why so many
people have a pretty unrealistic view of what
being a member of a real working Coven
means. It probably explains why so many
also believe that they must, simply must, be
a part of a Coven to get the “full Wiccan
experience”. I may not necessarily agree with
this sentiment, I understand why many
people feel this way.
Myth: The beauty of never ending and
continuous harmony
Many people say that they want to enter into
a Coven because they want to work closely
with “like-minded” individuals. They want
to enter in to sacred space with those who
create it as they do. They see becoming a part
of a Coven as entering into a place where
people can achieve a “group mind” and
become “one” in ritual. Few understand that
in order to do this a person has to let go of
some of the ways they are used to doing
ritual and learn how to create sacred space
the way the Coven they have stepped into
does. This is generally where things start to
get tough and real. Yep, right there at the
beginning. The first thing one learns when
stepping into a Coven: it is no longer all
about you. Surprise!
Okay, I will be the first to admit that I am a
pretty down to earth, let’s dispense with the
romance and get on with reality, kind of
witch. I do not have a dragon that sits on my
shoulder (although I work with Dragon
energy) nor do I believe that fairies are cute;
little winged beings (although I do experience
the Faerie). I’m all for romance-in the
bedroom with my man-but not mixed in with
my magick. For me, magick is already,
well…magickal and it does not require soft,
blurry lights.
Seriously though…Most well run Covens do
work to create a kind of “group mind” in
ritual. This means that everyone in the group
focuses on one specific concept or purpose
within ritual in order to achieve an agreed
upon goal (manifestation) .Wow, that
sounds very unwitchy doesn't it? There is no
becoming “one”-at least not in the sense that
most people use the term. To me this is like
saying that two people who choose to marry
become “one”. This is a very pretty and
romantic notion but not a very practical or
helpful one. When people come together for
any reason to achieve a specific goal or
outcome, they do not completely give
themselves over to another-they choose to let
down boundaries, to put their egos aside and
share themselves and their energy with the
group. There is a difference between this and
“becoming one” as most people use the term.
There is interdependence but not total
dependence.
So far, so good, right? Here’s the secret that
pretty much anyone in a Coven will tell those
who are looking for a Coven but no one really
wants to hear and even fewer listen .
Shhhhh, step close now, you will not want to
miss this. Working with people in a
spiritually and emotionally intimate
manner is hard and sometimes painful. Gee,
that doesn't sound fun does it? Again, not
very witchy or romantic but true.
Most of us have not been taught how to
behave in an environment that depends on
honesty and treating others as equals to
survive. We are used to wearing our masks
of perfection. We pretend, we manipulate, we
lie to ourselves and others, we expect others to
lie for us and to us, we hide, we refuse to
address our issues and we ask others to carry
the burden of our emotional baggage. We
want people to “love us for who we are” but we
never consider that we generally don’t even
love ourselves “as we are”. We say we are
angry when we are really afraid and we
attack others when we do not understand
something.
So within a safe Coven setting we learn,
slowly, sometimes very, very slowly, to trust,
to believe, to forgive , to accept forgiveness
and just to accept, to take on challenges, to
grow and to transform ourselves. We learn to
care about someone even though they are not
perfect, to agree to disagree-and mean it- to
understand that we are more than the sum of
our parents, DNA and childhood. We learn
how to fail and how to start over again after
failure. In this safe environment we can let
go of the labels that have been placed upon us
by ourselves and others and become that
person who we secretly, silently most want to
be but are too afraid and emotionally
shackled to attempt to become. This, in my
opinion, is real magick.
None of this is easy for the individual or for
the group. It is precisely because a well run
Coven environment creates a space where
people can “be naked in their rites”-naked
referring not just to the body but in emotion,
spirit and mind-that conflict will emerge.
Safe space makes us feel vulnerable and
most of us are not comfortable being
vulnerable or honest. This is the reason that a
Coven setting will probably be the place where
many of us will experience the most intense
and painful conflicts of our lives. We, our
egos, struggle to become a part of something
that is bigger than ourselves. In order to do
this our focus has to move from "me" to "we".
Not behavior this culture is renowned for,
teaches or really values.
As we begin to become who we are supposed to
be, we experience loss, fear and confusion.
Sometimes, our lives literally come apart. I
personally refer to this as “being on fire”
because I know that the transformation is
happening, I can feel it. I know that things
will be better at some point but I’m not really
sure when and it feels (on an emotional
level) like I am on fire. To put it in a less
poetic manner, transformation generally is
painful-it hurts. It is intense and scary. Don’
t let anyone kid you. Transformation is
about change and sacrifice. In my
experience, transformation is powerful Crone
energy.
When in pain, many of us will lash out at
others. Many times we will take this pain out
on those we feel safest with-Covenmates.
Because most of us have not been taught how
to communicate what we are feeling and
because most of us have not experienced the
kind of intense transformation that can
come about in such a setting, we explode and
create conflict. I’ve done it. Every person who
I experienced within Coven has done it; most
people will explode not just once but many
times. This is because most of us are attached
to our labels and "old life" regardless of how
destructive, oppressive and restrictive they
may be for us. As I mentioned earlier,
change is difficult even good change.
Although the old stuff often holds us back, it
is comfortable. The new is frightening,
evolving and unknown. The new feels like
chaos.
The archetype of the ever-harmonious Coven
is a myth. While there is harmony it is hard
won. We are individuals living in an
individual centric culture. We all have egos
regardless of how long we have trained.
Group harmony is achieved when people are
willing to stick things out, put relationships
first and work through issues regardless of
how insurmountable they may seem. It
means admitting to being human and to not
being perfect. It means learning how to
apologize with grace and how to repair a
damaged relationship. It is not magick in the
sense that many people like to think of
magick-immediate, material and covered
with glitter-but it is magick in the sense that
in doing this hard and dedicated work a
group of individuals can achieve what others
would refer to as a "group mind".
The Matron Goddess of Chalice Well Coven
and Chalice Well Fellowship (a Pagan
Church) is Bride also known as Bridget. The
Celtic Goddess of the forge, healing and
inspiration. The message board I own is
called the Clan of the Healing Wells in part
to honor Bride and as homage to the healing
well in Glastonbury, England where Chalice
Well Coven gets its name (there is no
affiliation between the Coven and the well
site). Bride is a most appropriate Matron.
She lends her aid in healing what is required
in order to grow and become, She gives us
inspiration and guidance to overcome our
own fears and insecurities. As the Goddess of
the forge She works her time honored
alchemy on each of us creating something
strong, beautiful and durable out of what
began as our soft, insecure and frightened
selves.
Covens, like many things in life, look easy
and pretty from a distance but it is up close
is where one experiences all the hard but
abundantly meaningful work required to
make a group of individuals into what is
termed a “group mind”. Perhaps this would be
better described as a group of likeminded
people who work hard to create magick
together and get results.
Back to the “Disney” Coven ritual described
in the beginning of the essay. While nothing
can really compare to the perfection of
Disney, there are thoughtfully adorned
altars, draped in beautiful cloth, scattered
with lovely vessels and colorful candles.
However, these altars are not created with
fairy dust or by cute woodland creatures.
They are created with respect, care, and
honor. More importantly, when a group of
dedicated people are able to resolve and put
aside any personal conflicts that may come
up from one cycle to the next they honor the
Gods and Goddesses in their lives long before
the first ritual candle is lit. For me, this is
what it means to enter into safe, sacred,
space in “perfect love and perfect trust”.
As someone I know once said, “Covens ain’t
for Sissies”. And that ain’t no myth.
Warm blessings and all the best!
Godiva le Fey
Note: I’m sure everyone knows this but just to
be on the safe side…
While people often receive support and
experience personal transformation within
the circle of a well run Coven, Covens do not
replace professional counseling. For those who
have experienced abuse, neglect,
abandonment, addiction, trauma or are
having an unusually difficult time moving
through a life transition, professional
counseling is well advised. A Coven also does
not replace focused and specialized therapy
groups such as 12 step programs. In my
experience, nothing beats the combination of
Coven and good professional counseling for
true life transformation, personal
empowerment and growth.
Those who require medication in order to
remain healthy and connected should not
stop taking it because they are doing
magickal work or have entered into a Coven.
All medications should be taken in a
responsible manner and under the care of a
physician.
In Chalice Well Tradition we are taught to
take care of the physical and emotional
before moving into the magickal. Our bodies
and emotional selves should not be neglected
or abused in the pursuit of magick or
spiritual development.
Recently I moved through my 3rd degree
initiation in Chalice Well Coven and
formally hived to start a new daughter
Coven: Ravens Well. As I have moved almost
100 miles away from Covenstead, I am
starting completely from scratch. It has been
interesting communicating with people about
what it is they are looking for in a Coven
and why they feel they want to be a part of a
Coven. What I have found is that most often
people have a kind of “Disney” version of
what a Coven is and how it works. All
chants, candles and pretty vessels spread out
on a perfectly draped altar with happy,
unified members circled around in a
darkened (but not too dark) space. Of course
the ritual takes place outdoors on a warm
night in a beautiful garden gazebo on
enough land so that the neighbors can’t peek
over the fence to watch. Wow! Sounds great!
Who needs to start a Coven? I want to join
this one! Where do I go to sign up?
I realized that while there are many books out
there on how to work magick within a group
setting, how to set up and run a magickal
group and even how to handle conflict within
a Coven setting , there are not many that
deal with the day to day reality of working
in a Coven. Perhaps this is why so many
people have a pretty unrealistic view of what
being a member of a real working Coven
means. It probably explains why so many
also believe that they must, simply must, be
a part of a Coven to get the “full Wiccan
experience”. I may not necessarily agree with
this sentiment, I understand why many
people feel this way.
Myth: The beauty of never ending and
continuous harmony
Many people say that they want to enter into
a Coven because they want to work closely
with “like-minded” individuals. They want
to enter in to sacred space with those who
create it as they do. They see becoming a part
of a Coven as entering into a place where
people can achieve a “group mind” and
become “one” in ritual. Few understand that
in order to do this a person has to let go of
some of the ways they are used to doing
ritual and learn how to create sacred space
the way the Coven they have stepped into
does. This is generally where things start to
get tough and real. Yep, right there at the
beginning. The first thing one learns when
stepping into a Coven: it is no longer all
about you. Surprise!
Okay, I will be the first to admit that I am a
pretty down to earth, let’s dispense with the
romance and get on with reality, kind of
witch. I do not have a dragon that sits on my
shoulder (although I work with Dragon
energy) nor do I believe that fairies are cute;
little winged beings (although I do experience
the Faerie). I’m all for romance-in the
bedroom with my man-but not mixed in with
my magick. For me, magick is already,
well…magickal and it does not require soft,
blurry lights.
Seriously though…Most well run Covens do
work to create a kind of “group mind” in
ritual. This means that everyone in the group
focuses on one specific concept or purpose
within ritual in order to achieve an agreed
upon goal (manifestation) .Wow, that
sounds very unwitchy doesn't it? There is no
becoming “one”-at least not in the sense that
most people use the term. To me this is like
saying that two people who choose to marry
become “one”. This is a very pretty and
romantic notion but not a very practical or
helpful one. When people come together for
any reason to achieve a specific goal or
outcome, they do not completely give
themselves over to another-they choose to let
down boundaries, to put their egos aside and
share themselves and their energy with the
group. There is a difference between this and
“becoming one” as most people use the term.
There is interdependence but not total
dependence.
So far, so good, right? Here’s the secret that
pretty much anyone in a Coven will tell those
who are looking for a Coven but no one really
wants to hear and even fewer listen .
Shhhhh, step close now, you will not want to
miss this. Working with people in a
spiritually and emotionally intimate
manner is hard and sometimes painful. Gee,
that doesn't sound fun does it? Again, not
very witchy or romantic but true.
Most of us have not been taught how to
behave in an environment that depends on
honesty and treating others as equals to
survive. We are used to wearing our masks
of perfection. We pretend, we manipulate, we
lie to ourselves and others, we expect others to
lie for us and to us, we hide, we refuse to
address our issues and we ask others to carry
the burden of our emotional baggage. We
want people to “love us for who we are” but we
never consider that we generally don’t even
love ourselves “as we are”. We say we are
angry when we are really afraid and we
attack others when we do not understand
something.
So within a safe Coven setting we learn,
slowly, sometimes very, very slowly, to trust,
to believe, to forgive , to accept forgiveness
and just to accept, to take on challenges, to
grow and to transform ourselves. We learn to
care about someone even though they are not
perfect, to agree to disagree-and mean it- to
understand that we are more than the sum of
our parents, DNA and childhood. We learn
how to fail and how to start over again after
failure. In this safe environment we can let
go of the labels that have been placed upon us
by ourselves and others and become that
person who we secretly, silently most want to
be but are too afraid and emotionally
shackled to attempt to become. This, in my
opinion, is real magick.
None of this is easy for the individual or for
the group. It is precisely because a well run
Coven environment creates a space where
people can “be naked in their rites”-naked
referring not just to the body but in emotion,
spirit and mind-that conflict will emerge.
Safe space makes us feel vulnerable and
most of us are not comfortable being
vulnerable or honest. This is the reason that a
Coven setting will probably be the place where
many of us will experience the most intense
and painful conflicts of our lives. We, our
egos, struggle to become a part of something
that is bigger than ourselves. In order to do
this our focus has to move from "me" to "we".
Not behavior this culture is renowned for,
teaches or really values.
As we begin to become who we are supposed to
be, we experience loss, fear and confusion.
Sometimes, our lives literally come apart. I
personally refer to this as “being on fire”
because I know that the transformation is
happening, I can feel it. I know that things
will be better at some point but I’m not really
sure when and it feels (on an emotional
level) like I am on fire. To put it in a less
poetic manner, transformation generally is
painful-it hurts. It is intense and scary. Don’
t let anyone kid you. Transformation is
about change and sacrifice. In my
experience, transformation is powerful Crone
energy.
When in pain, many of us will lash out at
others. Many times we will take this pain out
on those we feel safest with-Covenmates.
Because most of us have not been taught how
to communicate what we are feeling and
because most of us have not experienced the
kind of intense transformation that can
come about in such a setting, we explode and
create conflict. I’ve done it. Every person who
I experienced within Coven has done it; most
people will explode not just once but many
times. This is because most of us are attached
to our labels and "old life" regardless of how
destructive, oppressive and restrictive they
may be for us. As I mentioned earlier,
change is difficult even good change.
Although the old stuff often holds us back, it
is comfortable. The new is frightening,
evolving and unknown. The new feels like
chaos.
The archetype of the ever-harmonious Coven
is a myth. While there is harmony it is hard
won. We are individuals living in an
individual centric culture. We all have egos
regardless of how long we have trained.
Group harmony is achieved when people are
willing to stick things out, put relationships
first and work through issues regardless of
how insurmountable they may seem. It
means admitting to being human and to not
being perfect. It means learning how to
apologize with grace and how to repair a
damaged relationship. It is not magick in the
sense that many people like to think of
magick-immediate, material and covered
with glitter-but it is magick in the sense that
in doing this hard and dedicated work a
group of individuals can achieve what others
would refer to as a "group mind".
The Matron Goddess of Chalice Well Coven
and Chalice Well Fellowship (a Pagan
Church) is Bride also known as Bridget. The
Celtic Goddess of the forge, healing and
inspiration. The message board I own is
called the Clan of the Healing Wells in part
to honor Bride and as homage to the healing
well in Glastonbury, England where Chalice
Well Coven gets its name (there is no
affiliation between the Coven and the well
site). Bride is a most appropriate Matron.
She lends her aid in healing what is required
in order to grow and become, She gives us
inspiration and guidance to overcome our
own fears and insecurities. As the Goddess of
the forge She works her time honored
alchemy on each of us creating something
strong, beautiful and durable out of what
began as our soft, insecure and frightened
selves.
Covens, like many things in life, look easy
and pretty from a distance but it is up close
is where one experiences all the hard but
abundantly meaningful work required to
make a group of individuals into what is
termed a “group mind”. Perhaps this would be
better described as a group of likeminded
people who work hard to create magick
together and get results.
Back to the “Disney” Coven ritual described
in the beginning of the essay. While nothing
can really compare to the perfection of
Disney, there are thoughtfully adorned
altars, draped in beautiful cloth, scattered
with lovely vessels and colorful candles.
However, these altars are not created with
fairy dust or by cute woodland creatures.
They are created with respect, care, and
honor. More importantly, when a group of
dedicated people are able to resolve and put
aside any personal conflicts that may come
up from one cycle to the next they honor the
Gods and Goddesses in their lives long before
the first ritual candle is lit. For me, this is
what it means to enter into safe, sacred,
space in “perfect love and perfect trust”.
As someone I know once said, “Covens ain’t
for Sissies”. And that ain’t no myth.
Warm blessings and all the best!
Godiva le Fey
Note: I’m sure everyone knows this but just to
be on the safe side…
While people often receive support and
experience personal transformation within
the circle of a well run Coven, Covens do not
replace professional counseling. For those who
have experienced abuse, neglect,
abandonment, addiction, trauma or are
having an unusually difficult time moving
through a life transition, professional
counseling is well advised. A Coven also does
not replace focused and specialized therapy
groups such as 12 step programs. In my
experience, nothing beats the combination of
Coven and good professional counseling for
true life transformation, personal
empowerment and growth.
Those who require medication in order to
remain healthy and connected should not
stop taking it because they are doing
magickal work or have entered into a Coven.
All medications should be taken in a
responsible manner and under the care of a
physician.
In Chalice Well Tradition we are taught to
take care of the physical and emotional
before moving into the magickal. Our bodies
and emotional selves should not be neglected
or abused in the pursuit of magick or
spiritual development.
Home
Classes for 2009
Full Moon Hafla
Clan of the Healing
Wells
DeMyth-afing
the Wiccan Coven
"An ye harm none" on
a global scale
Recommended Books
Basic Definitions
Eulogy
Rituals for Litha 2005
Meditations
About Me
Chants
Classes for 2009
Full Moon Hafla
Clan of the Healing
Wells
DeMyth-afing
the Wiccan Coven
"An ye harm none" on
a global scale
Recommended Books
Basic Definitions
Eulogy
Rituals for Litha 2005
Meditations
About Me
Chants
Music: "Incantation" by
Loreena McKennitt
Loreena McKennitt